This was, by far, THE most unusual wedding I've ever been to. Not just because it was the ultimate "do-it-yourself" wedding, nor because it lasted a whole weekend, nor even because it was my daughter's wedding, but because it was just such... a HAPPY wedding! And what nowadays would be called an "organic" wedding.
First, the do-it-yourself part:
One reason this wedding was do-it-yourself is that Jenny abhors the commercialization of things that are life changing personal events. Just the phrase "the wedding industry" makes her want to run, screaming off into the distance.
There were two areas where Jenny did want to hire professionals, and the best she could find. One was the photographer, and she discovered Angela of Milestone Images, who came up from New York and stayed the entire wedding weekend. The other was a caterer, for hors d'oeuvres right after the wedding, and then a really delicious reception dinner. They also opted to have a DJ because hey... toasts, let alone things like music. Just easier that way.
So other than those few exceptions, with Ken's blessings and help, Jenny handled the whole thing herself in terms of the planning. As for the execution of the planning, the whole wedding was created by friends. What I've heard over the last couple of months were things like, "I asked Nate if he'd like to take charge of decorating the dining hall for the reception. He LOVES the idea!" (Nate isn't a decorator or interior designer. He's simply a friend with an artistic eye.) Another time, "Daphne wants to make our wedding cake." (Daphne is not a professional cake decorator, she's a very close friend and mom-of-two who simply loves decorating cakes.) Jenny also made her placecards which actually got strung on line with clothespins, the silk flower in her hair, her necklace and bracelet (jeweler's chain and spaced pearls) and her earrings she made out of white gold rod/wire which she bent into a musical treble staff symbol, then hammered and added a matching pearl. All meaningful.
"The Whole Weekend" part:
The wedding was held at Jenny's much beloved childhood summer camp. Located on many woodland acres in the northern part of New Hampshire's beautiful Lakes Region, Camp Huckins harbors years of wonderful memories for Jenny, to the point where she went back one year as an adult to serve as Arts & Crafts Director. So Camp Huckins is just a magical place for Jenny, but it's also about as beautiful a setting as it gets. Plus there are all these camper's cabins (some "rustic," some "primative,") so guests who were fine with that could stay on campus (with children for very little cost).
This photo of the outside chapel, where the ceremony took place, was taken the day before the wedding. This is of Jenny and her cousin/best friend/Maid of Honor standing on the chapel platform. (Click to enlarge, then back button to continue.)
So Thursday, Jenny and Ken and helping friends arrived starting that morning, along with most everything that was going to make a wedding. That included over 1,000 white Christmas tree lights, paper lanterns, glass tubular centerpiece vases... and everything else, from duct tape and extention cords to Daphne's three wedding-sized cake pans. Meanwhile, Thursday mid-day, I went from home straight to Boston Airport, picked up Edward and his wife Ginnie, who flew in from Ireland, and we then headed north 3 hours, getting to Camp Huckins late afternoon just before dark.
Thursday night, Jenny, Ken, Edward, Ginnie and I went out to dinner, then we took the weary travelers to their B&B, not far away from camp. Even THAT was unusual because the owners of the B&B were going to be gone that whole weekend! So normally that charming little B&B wouldn't have been available, but after understanding that this was an older couple, with one being a 73-year-old clergywoman and the other in his late 70s and a semi-retired but sane film writer and professor, the B&B owners just decided that Ed and Ginnie could stay there anyway. They'd have the place to themselves and would have to do their own Breakfast part of the B&B, "but if they're fine with that, we'll just give them the keys." So after seeing them in, Jenny gave them her car to get around in, and they were happy non-campers in their lovely, non-rustic accommodations.
Jenny and I stayed that night in the CIT cabin (stands for "counsellors in training") which is a terrific two-apartment structure adjoined by a hallway, with full electricity and two bathrooms and a full length covered front porch—just a really comfortable place, and somewhat off by itself. We were joined the next night by my sister and her two daughters, so there were elements of a great little gathering place for our family women and kids as well.
Friday was a flurry of activity! From early morning, in the dining hall, Nate was busy with helpers, turning a semi-institutional type girl's camp dining hall into a really pretty Reception facility. The Christmas tree lights and paper lanterns were being strung over one end of the room which would be the dance floor, with others extending throughout. Round banquet tables would be arranged into place by others. The canoes and rowboats that get stored in the dining hall over the winter were at the other end (it's a gigantic, near-basketball-court-sized room), and floor-to-ceiling dividers were being rolled into place to create a moveable wall. Miles of white fabric were being draped over the divider wall, and on each end of that were panels of fabric--non other than Best Man Ren's livingroom drapes! Oh, if this sounds hokey, trust me, it wasn't! Coincidentally their being in the wedding colors, it truly came out beautifully. Meanwhile, Daphne was in the huge commercial kitchen at its baking station, starting cake layers, someone else was making centerpieces.
As for the centerpieces, at this point I'm taking a time out for the fact that Jenny's entire wedding flowers deal had fallen through. Long story short, she had NOT wanted to get her flowers from a commercial florist. First of all, they hear "wedding" and their mark-up triples, but more importantly, Jenny really wanted her wedding flowers to come from local New Hampshire growers. (Organic wedding!) Unfortunately the flower farmer she'd arranged to get them from was located in an area where a frost had taken place several nights before, so as of Friday, and I mean late Friday (with the wedding Saturday), there were still no flowers.
So that's how these centerpieces came to be. Created from the "fruits of the outdoors" which included pine needled branches, pine cones and maple/oak leaves that had already turned fall colors, here are three of them.
+sized.jpg)
Meanwhile, elsewhere, older children had been enlisted to gather lots of sand from the lakeside beach, which would be needed Saturday night to anchor down white paper bags with votive candles -- luminaries to light the woodsy path down to the Campfire Area. While all this flurry of preparation activity was going on, I went off on a multi-errand trip to get bales of hay, Cinderella pumpkins and a whole slew of apples, all of which, a la New England's Fall season, were going to be used for decorating the chapel platform. I also went to the only supermarket within miles around, because Jenny had asked if I could make a green salad for 50 people for their Rehersal Dinner (a big cookout!) Naturally I over-panicked on that, having never made anything for 50 people, but it turned out overkill, it could have fed double.
When I got back with that whole errand stash, things were continuing to come together, but still a lot to do. Daphne was now back in the kitchen making the frosting for the cake so it would be ready for decorating first thing in the morning. At another work station, my sister and I got busy, now tearing lettuce and cutting up veggies for that particular salad. The Christmas lights were now mostly strung, lantern groupings placed, and everyone was working on something. (I was too spacey to freak out. As I'd watched what all had to be done getting figured out by people as it went along and who weren't panicking, it did NOT help that my sister (also in my generation where everything is compulsively nailed down in advance) was rolling her eyes at me. "I dunno, I sure hope they know what they're doooooingggg and that they can pull this togettttthhhhher.) We had faith.
There's one thing that I'll never, ever forget. About the time I was returning back to camp with the hay bales, pumpkins, apples and the salad ingredients (pretty late in the day), Jenny and her cousin passed me heading out of camp in Joannie's car. "Bye Mom, we're going to find flowers and get a latte-to-go from 'the Dunks'!" Well, they got the flowers, and this really worked out great. They'd found a local with a farmstand right at his fields, and when he found out Jenny was buying flowers for her wedding, he told her that the frost was coming that very night, his whole field would surely die off, so if she wanted to go pick her bridal bouquet and mothers' corsage flowers herself from his fields, she could do just that! So Jenny not only made her own bridal bouquet which she'd planned to do, but now she'd even gotten to pick the actual flowers for it. (Max-"Organic"!) So back in the dining hall/kitchen building, later at some point, corsages were being made for the mothers and wedding party. And what a phenomenal job they did!
Here is mine (photographed placed on my purse, just because it looked neat there)...
As for Jenny's bridal bouquet, I don't have a photo of it, but it's among the photos you'll see on the photographer's slide presentation. It was sooo lovely and it was also very "Jenny."
Friday night, now after dark: Rehersal and post-rehersal dinner (the big cookout):
Freezing cold, the ceremony rehersal went fairly quickly thanks to Billie's ability to coordinate everyone (a number of family members took part in administering the vows), the Rehersal Dinner was a big, huge cookout! People were dressed for it, but Ren and Billie, my nephew, manned these gigantic grills (you'll see photos), and some friends had brought various other dishes. Lots of people, lots of food. And a bonfire nearby for those who needed to warm up. Very cold. But very merry!
Satuday morning:
The wedding would be at 2pm, and last minute touches were now happening everywhere. But here's an example of what I loved about it all. Jenny had planned to decorate the chapel stage herself (the bales of straw, apples, cinderella pumpkins...), but now time was getting short, so very much in line with how this whole wedding was constructed, she simply asked friend Valerie, "Hey, Val - could you go decorate the chapel stage? I thought I'd have time, but not." So off went Valerie with the stash from my car, and nary a plan or any instructions given to her by Jenny. As with all other things, Jenny had simply come with no set-in-stone preconceived ideas. No "musts," and no "I'll die if X isn't done Y way." She just let everyone use their own creativity.
Meanwhile, since so many young couples with children were among the guests who stayed in cabins, one of them had previously proposed that it would be really fun for the kiddies to have a Treasure Hunt Sat. morning, and that she'd be happy to put one together. So that explains some of what you will see in the slide presentation, which could otherwise be a confusing collection of photos.
The wedding itself:
By far, it was the most touching wedding I've ever seen. Not just because it was my daughter's, either. But Jenny was not that nervous bridezilla, so stressed out by the time the ceremony rolled around that she mentally misses her own wedding. She was just... happy! Here was Jenny coming out of our cabin, ready to go to the chapel.
Jen wanted to come down the aisle unescorted because Hale was her "daddy" and she wanted to honor his memory and keep his place so he could walk with her in spirit. Angela Photographer got wonderful photos of both Jenny and Ken at that moment.
Jenny and Ken had my nephew officiate. Now, Billie is neither a minister nor a JP, but he's naturally eloquent, and he's family. And being a lawyer who'd do it right, he got properly licensed "to officiate weddings in the State of New Hampshire on Saturday, September 26, 2009."
Prior to the normal, official wedding vows, Jenny and Ken had prepared personal declarations to one another. Jenny told him why she loves him, and what was most memorable and brought tears to many eyes was her statement, "and I see my children in your eyes." She was very emtional while she said these things, but didn't let the understandable cracks in her voice bother her. It was to be expected, and she was among those who loved her, a very touching moment. Ken's declarations to her were equally as sweet, and he even included something that was very funny, because anyone who lives with, or even knows, a fiberholic spinner... they understand. Among his declarations was that he accepted "living with all your yarn." Their house is small, and it is EVERYWHERE! You will see a mid-ceremony photo of us all bursting into laughter, and that was taken right at that moment.
Another very touching part of the ceremony was that Jenny and Ken felt that yes, they were marrying one another, but they were also joining into one another's communities, so at their request, the "I do" vows themselves were administered by their close friends and families who joined them on the chapel platform for this part of the ceremony. It was an absolutely wonderful ceremony.
Cocktail hour followed with drinks and hors d'oeuvres on the edge of the Sports Field, a really pretty setting under trees, and where all the children could run around and play. Afterward, everyone went into the reception hall. Lots of music, lots of dancing and an incredibly deeee-licious reception dinner followed.
What I didn't expect, though, nor did Ken or anyone else, after very personal and touching toasts had been given by Best Man and Maid of Honor, sometime later Jenny took the microphone herself and thanked all their amazing friends who did such a great job of creating such a meaningful wedding. But then after a pause, she said that since she was surrounded by close friends and family, there was something she really wanted to do, it felt right, and that was to sing a special song to her husband. (Awwwwwww.) And with no accompaniment, she sang "At Last." This photo really does explain that very tender moment, because if you click to enlarge, she was singing straight to Ken and you can see the emotion in her eyes.
Ken teared up of course, and we all knew not to embarrass him by looking at him, but Angela got a photo that I think will be treasured. For those who don't know it, Jenny has a beautiful voice, so it wasn't even in the slightest bit awkward.
At around 7:15 or thereabouts, the Reception came to an end and everyone went back to their cabins for an hour or so to change into warm, comfy campfire clothes, because what could be a more perfect ending to such a momentous day than just kicking back at a campfire, having a glass of wine and watching the kiddies roast marshmallows. At some point, everyone got hungry again, so someone went into town not too far away, and probably overwhelmed the little local pizza place by ordering ten Large pizzas, without much notice and likely fairly close to closing.
Sunday, it rained, so Jenny and Ken and a few others cooked a casual brunchy type meal in the dining hall so guests could stop in for a bite to eat before heading in various directions for home as, meanwhile, the very pretty reception hall once again got restored to its status as a little girls' summer camp dining hall where 170 meals would be served, 3 times a day, all summer long.
Jenny and I were later pondering how this entire wedding was reminiscent of an old fashioned Barn Raising. That's where someone in town needs a barn. They provide all the pieces, the materials, the tools and a general idea of what they need. And then the whooooole village shows up and, Presto! By nightfall, a barn is standing where just that morning, there was bare ground. It was a wedding to remember.
